So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
