it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
