What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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