I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
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First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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