its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
