I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
