OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
