Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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