two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
