You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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