Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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