how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
