great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think your dad took our porno
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
