So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
