how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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