Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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