Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
