Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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