that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize