goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think i have two assholes
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
so much tequila, so little girl.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
