yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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