conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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