K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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