Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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