I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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