I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
