I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
