you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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