I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
