thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
