We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.