So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
be right there i have to get my cape
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.