I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back