I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he puts the penis in happiness.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.