Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.