the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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