Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops