Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
