What a fucking waste of an outfit
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
