Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You're like the curious george of whores
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
