things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
