How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
