Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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