Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
