Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
