she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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