She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
