When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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