Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
