Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
