We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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