i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize