NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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