i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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