420 ftw
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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