the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
