His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
