woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think my moral compass just broke
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
