Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
