WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
