Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
