I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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