i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
