my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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